"Put yourself in a state of mind where you say to yourself, 'Here is an opportunity for me to celebrate like never before, my own power, my own ability to get myself to do whatever is necessary'."
- Martin Luther King
Right now, my law school husband is taking the Missouri Bar Exam in Jefferson City, MO.
And I’m freaking out.
Let me explain. I am a ridiculous planner. My wedding day timeline had bathroom and snack breaks in it for our 15-person wedding party. I live by my calendar and my check-lists. I plan events for a living and then come home to work on weddings part time. I run our household, pay the bills and make the doctor’s appointments. I call for the scheduled maintenance on the townhouse and plan our daily activities for a Disney vacation six months in advance.
To be blunt, I like being in charge.
And today and tomorrow? I’m not in charge. I can’t do anything while my husband is two hours away, taking a twelve hour exam that he’s been preparing for since August of 2009 when he started law school, and ever more intense studying since the end of December. I can only sit at my office, go about my business and my doctor’s appointments, and wait for his call.
It doesn’t help that Jeff City is getting hit with another Midwestern winter storm. He was hoping to walk to the testing site from his hotel but due to the layout and his original hotel catching on fire (YUP!), he has to drive. Which just adds another layer of complexity we didn’t want to deal with in addition to the exam itself.
So I will sit here. And wait. And pray. And wait some more. And freak out because I can’t do anything. Then I’ll get to hear his voice after he’s done with the Day One of the test. He gets to do it all over again tomorrow.
I don’t like it when I’m not in charge.